The kiss - When Calls the Heart
"Hey," said Nathan, walking up to Elizabeth, who sat on her back porch with 2 cups of coffee beside her. She had hoped that Nathan would be able to come by tonight, after filling out the paperwork regarding everything that had happened with Shaw and her and Rosemary's kidnapping. She had smiled and hummed to herself while pouring his coffee. She even put 3 iced biscuits on a plate for him and poured a small dollop of milk in each of their cups. She was pleased that she knew how Nathan liked his coffee, and what snacks he enjoyed. Being able to please him with this knowledge warmed her heart.
She left her back door open, in case the children woke up and needed her, and sat on her back porch, under the stars, hoping that Nathan would be able to join her tonight.
Suddenly, she heard grass crunching under boots and looked over to see Nathan walking up to meet her on her back porch. He was wearing a solid blue shirt, brown pants and brown suspenders. Her heart leaped at the sight of this gorgeous man before her.
"Hi," she breathed with a flirtatious smile. Nathan's heart warmed at the sight of her beautiful face and rosy cheeks.
"How are you?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.
"Oh, I'm a little shaken, but really thankful that we're all safe now. The kids are upstairs, sleeping in Jack's room."
"That's good. I'm glad they're together," Nathan said as he took his designated seat beside her. He looked down and saw his mug of coffee and the plate of biscuits and smiled. He was so happy to see that she had thought of him and was eagerly waiting up late to see him.
"Me too," she said warmly.
Nathan looked up at Elizabeth and said, "Elizabeth, I was really worried about you today."
"I'm alright now. You kept me safe.
You know, it got me thinking though."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. There's something, well a lot, that I need to say."
"Alright."
"Nathan, 3 years ago, when I thought you had been shot, a gripping fear took root in my heart. I honestly felt, well, too paralyzed to move forward. I realized, that somewhere along the line, I had fallen in love with you."
Those last words came out in a rush.
Nathan's eyes grew large and his mouth opened slowly. He was surprised, but at the same time, he had felt that this was what had happened all those years ago between he and Elizabeth. He had felt that she was in love with him too and that she was too afraid to let him in.
Elizabeth continued, "That fear, it just, it took root so deep that I couldn't imagine fully giving my heart to you, and then, losing you. Honestly, it wasn't just that you're a mountie. That's dangerous and scary, but my biggest fear was really, just the depth of my feelings for you and the intensity that I felt between us. I saw a lifetime, one that we could have. It would be full of joy and trust, and family, just everything. But then I thought, what if that was cut short. I was afraid that I would be so shattered that I wouldn't be able to put the pieces of my heart back together again. And then where would that leave Jack, and Allie? How would I be strong enough for them."
Elizabeth looked down for a moment, trying to gather courage needed to push forward with her confession. She took a deep breath and then met Nathan's eyes again. He was so patient, just quietly allowing her to take her time with him, in every way. She drew from his strength and felt emboldened to continue.
"I know now that I moved forward with Lucas to protect myself."
At that, Nathan and Elizabeth now had matching tears in their eyes.
"And that really wasn't fair. Not to any of us. I didn't think I would be strong enough, to stay away from you though. I am ashamed of my actions. Of making decisions in fear. Of hurting you. Of hurting all of us."
Elizabeth's voice broke terribly and tears poured from her eyes, falling from her face and soaking her beautiful white lace blouse.
The blouse she had worn when Nathan had told her that he loved her, all those years ago. He wondered if she put it on for him this evening. To get things right this time.
"Elizabeth, it's ok, you don't have to," Nathan began, trying to protect Elizabeth, as he always did. It tore him up to see her in such pain.
Elizabeth put her hand up though, "no, I have to say this," she said. She stood and walked into the yard a couple of steps. Nathan stood and followed her, watching her eyes and then following her lips as they moved.
She continued, "that day when I came to the jail and I told you that I wasn't in love with you and that I had been looking for Jack in you. You were still pursuing me. Your heart was still so open. I couldn't think of any other way, to make you stop pursuing me.
But it really wasn't true. I always saw you. I just didn't want to examine too closely how I was feeling. I chose to push it all away and just, try to follow a different path. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for breaking your heart and for making decisions in fear."
Nathan shook his head once and looked deeply into Elizabeth's eyes. He wanted so badly to pull her into his arms and make it so that everything was ok. He wanted to melt into her and become one. He could feel his heart mending at every new detail that she shared with him though. He knew this was such a difficult moment, but that in the end, it would bring so much peace to their future. He so wanted a future with her. He wanted everything that she had spoken of. Family, joy, trust, romance, everything. She was his best friend and he was totally and completely in love with her.
Elizabeth continued, "I don't think I was completely aware of everything that I was doing at the time. As I look back though, I see that I was adding layers to a wall that I had built between us.
And then last year, when I heard about the hostage situation and I thought that maybe you had died again. I completely fell apart. Actually, Henry found me. He told me that I should evaluate my feelings and be honest with myself. So I did.
I realized that day, that even if we were never together, still if anything happened to you, I would be just as devastated. I realized that I do want to spend my life with you. I don't want another day to go by without you. I want to be a family with you and Allie and Jack and I don't want to hide in fear anymore. And I so want to be able to tell you, how deeply I am in love with you. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine."
Nathan moved forward, towards Elizabeth. They had both shed so many tears tonight. It felt like all of the pain and mistakes of the past had been cried out and now, what was left was; forgiveness, deep friendship, love. The kind of love that lasts a lifetime. Nathan leaned close to Elizabeth's face and said in a deep voice, "Elizabeth, I love you, I always have and I always will. There's nothing to forgive." He paused for a moment and then said, "Darling?"
Elizabeth smiled, and took a shuttering breath "yes?"
"Can I kiss you now?"
"Yes, please," she laughed.
Nathan reached up and gently wiped her tears with his hands. The intimate gesture made Elizabeth's heart flutter.
Very slowly their lips inched towards each other. Elizabeth rose up on her toes and put her hands on Nathan's chest to steady herself and he wrapped his arms around her back. When their lips met, it was the most blissful feeling they could have ever imagined. Perfect, sweet, soft and amazing. The kiss began to deepen and become far more passionate, Nathan heard a door close a couple of houses down and he realized that he had to protect Elizabeth. They were outside, behind Elizabeth's row house. He didn't really want the neighbors talking about them tomorrow, so he began to slow their kiss and very slowly pull away. He held her face and looked into her eyes. They both smiled and kissed again, just a gentle touch of lips. Nathan placed his forehead on hers.
Nathan pulled back and took a gold ring with a small diamond from his pocket and placed it on Elizabeth's finger. He had been carrying his grandmother's ring for the last month. Waiting for the right time to give it to Elizabeth. He had known for years that he wanted to give it to her and now was the right time.
Nathan slipped the ring onto Elizabeth's finger, he leaned down to kiss her again and Elizabeth quipped, "you know, I haven't said yes." Elizabeth smiled brightly, clearly teasing him.
Nathan looked deep into her eyes and said, "Yeah, but you were gonna!"
They both smiled and Elizabeth pushed forward. She threw her arms around Nathan's neck and kissed him!
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